Talking About Your Divorce: How to Spread the Word

February 27th, 2023

Figuring out how and when it’s appropriate to begin talking about your divorce can be one of the more awkward aspects of the breakup process. It’s best not to tell the whole world until the divorce is final. However, there are some people in your life who deserve to hear it from you. Your children will likely hear bout the divorce or see things happening, and it’s important to treat this matter delicately. Your family will also need to know about your breakup. You might want to discuss the divorce with your boss or HR rep so they know that you might need to miss some work for court. And finally, when your divorce is over, you can share the news with the rest of the world. Hopefully, the divorce process will be as smooth and painless as possible.

Telling Children

Talking about your divorce with your children can be very painful. However, they deserve to hear it from both of their parents together. Even if it’s difficult to be around one another, try to set aside these differences for the sake of your children. Sit them down and explain in age-appropriate terms what is happening. Reassure them that you both still love them and will be in their lives. Let them have space but encourage them to ask questions and discuss any concerns.

Telling Family

It’s also important to begin talking about your divorce with your family fairly early in the process. Just like you envisioned a forever future with your spouse, they did as well. They are losing a family member and deserve to hear about it from you. You can just let close family members know at first before spreading the word.

Telling Work

It’s also a good idea to let your boss and HR representative know what’s going on. While you don’t want to be talking about your divorce too much at work, you might miss some days due to court appearances. Let them know ahead of time that you’ll likely be needing some time off.

Telling the Rest of the World

Finally, when your divorce is final, it’s time to let the world at large know. Some people prefer to let the news spread by word of mouth throughout their family and friend group. For others, talking about your divorce might be a helpful part of the healing process. Some choose to announce on social media, or send notes updating friends about their new address and name. However you choose to tell the world, try not to engage in trash talking your ex, especially on social media.

Talking about your divorce can be very painful at first, but should get easier as time goes on. It’s a good idea to keep things fairly private until your divorce is final. That way, nothing will affect your settlement. However, there are a few people in your life that you should probably inform early on. Try to find a good time when you and your soon-to-be ex can let your children know what’s going on. You’ll also want to give your close family members a heads up. It’s a good idea to inform your workplace so they know to be prepared for you to need some time off. And finally, when the divorce is final, it’s your decision how you want to share the news with the world at large.