Keeping track of the kids in divorce: Child Custody tips in Charlotte and North Carolina

September 3rd, 2020

Keeping track of the kids:  Child Custody tips in Charlotte and North Carolina

Going through a divorce is difficult for any family.  Parents go through an emotional and financial rollercoaster as they try to figure out what lives will look like after everything is either settled or litigated in front of a judge.  I find that most divorcing spouses haven’t planned for the turmoil in their lives.  One of the most chaotic parts of divorce that spouses manage poorly is what happens with the custody schedule for the kids.  On top of these challenges, add COVID-19 to the mix in 2020! As August is here and the new school year has already started, check out these tips to make your life and the lives of your children easier.

Paper is great when the only person you have to manage is yourself.  You have to coordinate children, schedules, virtual learning, pods for kids, and former spouses.  Instead of paper, use technology to save your life.

Here are some ways:

These calendars also allow you to “share” without letting others add dates. For instance, you can share the calendar with grandparents, uncles and aunts who are there to help you out during these trying time. Those folks can see the calendar, but they can’t add content.

You can add reminders, events, documents, modifications of the schedule, and notes.  Here’s a tutorial from Google:

If you can’t completely let go of the paper calendar, go ahead and print it when everything is finalized on the electronic calendar. It’s ok to print, even though you’re killing a tree.

The kids are going back to school.  You go to ‘Back-to-School’ sales and plan what the kids need, right? Do the same with the annual schedule, even though COVID-19 has destroyed the ability to plan far in advance.

Figure out which parent is supposed to get each holiday, teacher workday, and vacation day from now until June 2021.  Then, send an email to the other parent asking to confirm. Don’t wait until the last minute.

If you travel for work, now’s the perfect time to get your travel schedule, if available. Communicate this schedule to the other parent.  Even though your order says “10 days advance notice”, why would you wait that long?  Decrease the conflict in your life. Also tell the other parent your job’s new travel policy. Since everything has changed, some parents are still flying. Others are grounded indefinitely. If you want to remove unnecessary conflict in your life, communicate even though you may not want to!

Take 30 minutes and review your court order or parenting agreement every single year. There may be something you forgot, or something that changes, or something critical that you’re missing.  It won’t hurt to revisit the document that is supposed to govern your children’s lives.

Life for kids gets crazy when they go back to school. Don’t wait until one month into school to implement these tips. If you wait, you will never do it. Give yourself a 7-day deadline to get these tasks done.