Getting Along with Your Ex After Divorce

August 29th, 2022

Getting along with your ex after divorce can seem like an impossibility when you are going through the emotional ups and downs of the divorce process. However, it is possible to have an amicable relationship with your ex-spouse. It just requires effort and preparation from both of you. Counseling can be a great way to learn to communicate effectively with your ex and can give you both tools for handling stress. Another important thing to remember is that trash-talking your ex is never a good idea. Preparing in advance when you know that you’ll be seeing your ex or interacting with them can also be incredibly helpful. And finally, if you have children, it can help to try to just focus on them. Remember that a peaceful co-parenting relationship is the healthiest thing for your kids. While it can be difficult at times to keep things polite with your ex, as long as you both are committed, you’ll be able to get along even after the divorce is final.


Getting along with your ex after divorce is easier if you work with a professional counselor. Divorce counseling is not just for couples trying to save their marriage. In fact, it can be very helpful to speak to a therapist about how to get along post-divorce. Your therapist will be able to give you tips on how to communicate with each other more effectively. In addition, they’ll be able to help you learn how to handle the emotional stress of the divorce process and channel that stress in a healthy way.

Avoid Trash-Talking

Another thing that can make getting along with your ex after divorce easier is avoiding trash talking. Bashing your ex-spouse doesn’t accomplish anything and it can land you in trouble. Especially if you are using social media. Word often gets back around to your ex which can strain your relationship even more. In addition, it can be damaging to children to see their parents speaking negatively about each other, so make an effort to avoid the trash talk for their sake.

Prepare in Advance

Preparing yourself in advance can make getting along with your ex after divorce easier. If you know that you’ll be talking with them or seeing them in person, try to get into a healthy mental space ahead of time. Listen to soothing music, do some meditation, or try some relaxing breathing exercises. Make a list of the things that you need to discuss and try not to stray off topic. Usually, the shorter the conversation, the better.

Focus on Co-Parenting

Finally, getting along with your ex after divorce is even more important if you have children together. You’ll be co-parenting for the rest of your lives, so you’ll have to figure out how to get along for the sake of your kids. Try to let go of any bitterness or hurt and put your energy towards parenting. In addition, try to think carefully before you speak. It’s easy to get caught up in an emotional moment and say something that you regret. But your children love both of their parents and it can be hurtful to them to see you fighting with each other.

Getting along with your ex after divorce can be difficult, but it is possible as long as you both make it a priority. This is especially important if you share custody of children. It can be easy to get wrapped up in the stress of the divorce process and want to retaliate against your ex. Therefore, it can be helpful for you to go to counseling either together or separately. A therapist can help you deal with those feelings in a healthy way. Try to avoid bashing your ex if at all possible, especially in front of your children. Try to prepare yourself ahead of time if you know that you’ll need to interact with your ex-spouse, and keep things as short and simple as possible.

Finally, if you have children, make co-parenting peacefully a priority for their sake. You and your ex will be making parenting decisions together for the rest of your lives, and it’s better for everybody if you can learn to get along. Hopefully, you and your ex-spouse can heal from the stress of your divorce and learn to co-exist peacefully.